This post has been heavy on my heart, but I first wanted to pray and think about what I wanted to say. First, let me start by saying racism is REAL, and it has been real since my ancestors were brought to this country, and the encounters that the Europeans had with the indigenous peoples of America. (which is part of my ancestry too…my great-grandmother was a descendant) It's saddening that George Floyd, Breyona Taylor, and several other people's lives had to be lost during a pandemic for major companies, organizations, and others to recognize and be vocal about the systemic racism that exists in our country.

As I have said in previous posts, Boo Boo and I are very open about discussing race, biases, and different cultures. I couldn't be with someone who wasn't willing to talk about hard topics with me…it will be a NO-GO! When I watched the murder of George Floyd, I was filled with several emotions. I was angry, upset, disgusted, and heartbroken. I immediately sent my fiancé the video while he was at work….CRICKETS…..(which is not usual for him)…WAIT…. Let me rewind….

SO, a couple of days before this happened, we went hiking in an unfamiliar area. Before we went hiking, I googled and did some research and found a spot about an hour in half away from our home. We were interested in getting a good workout with the hopes of also seeing some beautiful waterfalls. As we were getting closer to our destination, we both knew we were not in 'Kansas' anymore…(if you know what I mean). About 30 minutes later, we made it to our destination. I made sure he was aware of my uneasiness about the area so that he could be more alert. I brought my bookbag purse, so we could be hands-free from carrying water, snacks, and keys. Here's a beautiful picture from our hike.

After enjoying what nature had to offer, we decided to go home. While walking towards our car, Boo Boo stopped me at a random car to get the keys out of my backpack purse. I immediately told him to stop because I did not need someone (a white person) to think we were trying to steal or do something to their car. I told him that he couldn’t do ‘stuff’ like that with me—because I am Black. This allowed us to have an in-depth conversation about how he needs to be more cautious of his actions, so he doesn’t put our future children or me in danger. I also shared with him several encounters I have had because of my race.

Which brings us back to him not responding to my text….(BTW, which is one of my pet peeves…LOL) Well, I said a lot more with the attached video, (which I will keep between us). Finally, he admitted that he didn’t know what he could do or say to make me feel better about what we both witnessed, …and we both knew he couldn’t. After talking to him, I immediately started crying and sobbing because I was so heartbroken and tired of seeing black men and POC being killed by those who are supposed to protect. (BTW, I believe there are good cops, and I appreciate them…BUT those that use their badges to abuse, mistreat, and murder should be convicted for their crimes…they should not be above the ‘law’) I was also upset that I am madly in love and marrying someone that will never fully understand my pain and anger when something like this happens to a person of color. (until he (we) has to teach our children about racism)

When he arrived home from work, we continued our discussion face to face, because he wanted me to explain how I was feeling. He wanted me to know he was upset, angry, and disgusted, too….AND that he wanted to develop an understanding of how racism and injustice for people of color affect me. This was exactly what I needed from him.

Recently, there have been times when I think about how some black people may perceive a black woman dating/married to someone of a different race. They may think we don’t love our race or black men, but that’s definitely not my case because I am blackity black black, and I happen to be in love with a white man. This way of thinking is ignorance and is also a hard discussion that can’t be had with individuals that are not willing to understand.

All relationships require a lot of love and moments when you have to sit down and have those hard discussions to nurture it…and in an interracial relationship; there’s an extra layer of hard discussions that have to be brought to the table for it to be successful. I am grateful to have someone willing to share love, waterfalls, and hard discussions during these challenging times.

“There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” ~ Galatians 3:28